Lavatory laments.

If you are prone to a weak stomach and toilet talk, then stop reading and go have a cup of tea, and come back tomorrow! Today I'm sharing with y'all my lavatory laments.

It's gonna get ugly!

No, this isn't a post about my bowel movements, but rather about the very sad state of my blocked toilet this morning, and my even sadder attempts at trying to unblock it! Let me start by telling y'all that I am convinced the toilets here in the US are not built to flush more than a few sheets of toilet paper at a time, and that's one-ply to boot!

No matter where we have stayed since our time here, whether it 's been in the apartment, hotels or here in the house, the toilets are all the same.......those darn things just keep getting blocked! I now have a wonderful, black, rubbery toilet plunger-thingie ready for the next emergency. And so far, it hasn't failed me yet!

Until today.

Today no amount of plunging and sweating and grumbling under my breath could dislodge whatever was down in there. I tried, I waited, I tried again, I waited. No, it ain't gonna happen, I thought. So what do you think I did next?

That's right, I went to my old faithful, and Googled it!! Don't you just love Google? But I have to admit that I've never Googled a question like how to unblock a toilet before. I just wanted to get some other advice, before resorting to an expensive plumber or drain cleaner. And I could not imagine the wealth of advice and tips to be found on this subject. It seems it's a common enough problem alright, which further confirmed my suspicions about the sensitive toilets here. And it was there I learnt about something called a toilet auger. Now, I had no idea what this gadget was, but everyone was giving it rave reviews, so that sold me! Off I went, with mother in tow, to find a toilet auger at Lowe's.

I was expecting a few items stuck in a corner of the store somewhere......this is what I found....

............ a whole assortment of toilet unblocking products. It was like looking at the breakfast cereal aisle in Wal-Mart! What variety...what choice.....wait a minute we're talking about toilet drain cleaners!!! Well, there was every kind of cleaner imaginable. I found the one I was looking for, amid laughter and amusement between my mother and I, come on.....some of these things looked like instruments of torture for crying out loud! Next, I had to find a pair of long-sleeved gloves, if you know what I'm talking about! And off we went back home, to put our new purchase to good use!

I had to dress for the part. PVC gloves, old clothes and even contemplated wearing my hubby's gas mask (more for effect I'll admit!). And soon I was winding and pushing, and winding. To cut a very long, and not so pleasant story short, I eventually heard the sweet, sweet sound of gurgling water, as the blockage miraculously shifted, and I could once again flush away. What joy!

I could rest after a good scrubbing down later, and enjoy a cup of tea, knowing that I had conquered the commode, or latrine or whatever you wanna call it!!
I am the toilet auger queen!!